it had always been an argument

one vine that clamored

rambling skyward

“why’d you have to plant that?”

it covers things, I said, once

those were days of tendrils

young things sprouting


later it becomes a bane

looking at trunks grown thick with time

wandering things outgrow their fences


41 thoughts on “tendrils…

  1. just a few feelings…after reading this.



    just experiencing the habituation of self with other..

    from the early on, to the sedate,

    from the tendrils, to the overgrowth..

    So? Nature allows fences to be outgrown

    (deep sigh of relief)



    Great talking with you. You who HAVE IT ALL!!!!!

    Looks, talent, brains, mind, heart, compassion,

    and so on and so forth


    Yes you do!!!

    You HAVE IT ALL!!!!!!

    that little voice you heard whilst looking at ART?



    YOU ARE A GODDESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (and a genius)

    so sez I


  2. ps: there are some really interesting ones you can do in pots from seed called ‘Ensign’ — really neat compact ones.

    This one is Ipomea? or something like that — a perennial that just goes on for blocks like a kudzu vine or something…..


    it did and does.


    1. ooops, are we back to formalities?

      well, …..


      Dear Valentine Bonnaire,

      Please reconsider my statement above. I believe you might find my insights to have merit, given that I have been
      struck by lightning, and my brain is exceptionally electric exhibiting “off the board intuition” (and other fine attributes). Far be it from you to disregard this issue for reasons of lack of belief in yourself, excruciatingly judgmental personal assessments, and/or underestimation of your innate talents and gifts. So, I insist.



      PS: I love morning glories too….

      When I was a child, I used to ride my bike what seemed a very long way, just to see a vine in bloom.

      yup…(with my shoes untied)


    1. You are welcome Bonnaire.

      Thank you for the knowledge re: Ensign…

      I love cottage gardens too..

      seems like where you live, this is possible?

      not here…

      are any of the plants there you planted ages ago? are the Peace roses still there?


  3. Some things are quite large?


    Massive roses? The Banksia and Bruners. We have two seasons for planting here — fall and spring — I used to do all that — order bulbs and so forth. I used to love doing that.


  4. I took a few minutes after reading your comment to google Banksias and Bruners and I saw pics of massive ones..
    especially the Banksias.

    Beautiful to think about.

    Have never planted bulbs…but was always intrigued. I notice that you have posted pics of tulips a few times…

    …..I love irises..too. I’m always drawn to them when I see them….


    1. Gigantic roses sound lovely to me. Big and overgrown…massive and wild..

      sounds perfect.

      Guess it is a matter of perspective..

      love to you


    1. well regardless of interest or inclination at least you had a garden, and for all intents and purposes, it mattered while you did..

      I am glad you have those roses. I know you have let your garden go..

      but something remains..

      even without care.

      so you have a garden with giant rose bushes..


  5. Lovely poem.

    Makes one think……

    Text of this Youtube Video

    The sacred flame
    burgeoning within the trees
    buries its potential
    deep within the silent veins
    until the One voice comes to
    set it free

    There is a dancer there
    in the wood
    who feels the pulse
    hidden in the darkness
    It matches that of her heart
    as she pulls her own power
    deep into the
    core of her being
    shielding it from the falling snow

    There is a hidden meeting of fire
    here in the seemingly lifeless
    too pure to be touched
    too ancient to be known

    A tiny bud wrests its promise
    from the bark
    A sign of hope in bleak mid-winter


    1. That is a very interesting poem, Song. Very pagan and also about the anima mundi or what you often refer to as the “sacred feminine?”
      Hmm…I’m going to go watch that….


  6. Well Bonnaire? I don’t know about that–the pagan and the sacred feminine but if you think so? Who am I?

    The music was by G. Gurdjieff, of the 1920’s 4th way school..a contemporary of Roerich. I have read Nicholl’s Commentaries many times on the Fourth Way, although they are now, I believe out of print..nevermind tho’ I have the full set, and periodically, I return to them. The series of posts which I hope to continue, on the commentaries is on the blog.

    I am particularly fond of Maurice Nicoll’s book–“Living Time”–

    I found the short video to be lovely–this poetess is very talented, and seems to be somewhat reclusive.


  7. The tree is a symbol for the deep feminine?


  8. well, may be so, Bonnaire, but I am not particularly versed in either moon dancing or willow wands? Nor, affixed to the waxing and waning of the moon.

    As for the deep feminine?

    Only those who know the territory can speak of that..

    as for me?

    i understand the “territory” as well as it can be understood, given the acausal elements


  9. then you know the territory…

    I had not seen the symbolism in the video….

    you most probably understand all of this innately….

    I am rather certain of that.


  10. finally, given that this is your deep domain, I would think that you might be
    perplexed at times by me?

    if that is so?

    bear with me? I try to communicate as best I can.


  11. We know different stuff?

    We do.

    Funny but that astrologer of mine said I was a Brigitte type — last time I was there she said look up Imbolc so I did!

    Ah well.

    My mom used to say I was like a willow tree?

    Well, enough said on all this — I suppose I better write something or else just get off of here………………………


  12. well dear Brigitte, goddess of fire…

    pleased to meet you

    I believe awhile back I named you Madonna Oriflamma…





  13. great writing on your white girrrl story today. You sound like you were a great kid Bonnaire…running around in your petticoats…and platforms..

    I listened to the music. Really nice….never heard of the last two, but enjoyed both.

    And what happened to you friend? will we find out?

    oh, and that “kith me”???????


    so yuck….


    1. We were both great kids?

      Yep, you will find out — like I said, no stone unturned in this one —
      no stone unturned no matter how hard.

      this is a true story, and a feminist tome — in a way — it is because of Hillary and what happened last year?
      Umm, hmm.


  14. i learned a great deal following women who are Democrats and I tend to believe that lipstick feminism such as you call it is the feminism which has been least explored.


  15. I also note that as a Democrat woman you must reiterate often that you are heterosexual given I presume that large number of lesbians are in the movement itself.

    As a teenager I worked with 3 Miss America’s singing as a principal talent in the Miss Arizona pageant. This, while women were burning their bras. From my time working with these woman, I found them to be intelligent and talented people. And did not find some of the leaders of the woman’s movement who were strongly anti male to be anything but belligerent anarchists at war with “all things woman”, lacking femininity, in fact seeming to despise it. Although i understood the meat market approach to pageants, I did not understand the cult of ugliness that sprang from feminism where women became slovenly, without pride or makeup, and no moral moorings for their culture.

    I personally never felt that the feminist movement cared one hoot about what is means to be feminine, and instead
    assisted in developing more women who act like men, than women who know and understand what it means to be a woman in a man’s world.

    As I have said many times, I will never understand why it is considered progress that a woman can fly a jet and drop bombs with the same cold precision as her male counterparts. This, to me, is the antithesis of womankind. At the same time, I believe self defense is a human necessity, but that is another deep subject to me, which I have analyzed fully.

    I have rambled on long enough.


  16. Well, I’m glad you said all this, ramble or no…

    I’m trying to put feminism in context for myself I think as I write this. I just recently came across the concept of “lipstick feminism” — where my gen fits is tail end bboom on all of this. I really don’t think the hetero version has been written either?


    I think the only way I can do this is revisit the past and what happened in the multiple relationships my gen had?

    My gen wasn’t the bra burners of the 60’s — we were the workforce in shoulder pads of the 80’s?

    I think this looks very different regionally, too?

    For instance, in the corporate sphere of the time if a woman was dressing to attract too much attention in order to get ahead from males? She would be savaged by the other women? Seriously — I saw that happen many times.

    There is a lot to unpack, I think…

    If I choose music from those times it takes me back into an area of memory about things that happened.

    Sometimes this gen is called Generation Jones or The Lost Generation?
    We are not the bboom proper — we grew up listening to a lot of rock and roll out here and we believed we could change the world in some ways…there was this intense idealism we shared, I think.

    Now, that old friend of mine cannot stand the concept of “feminist” — she has very negative connotations of that word. But for me it meant “equality” — in terms of personhood and on the job?

    I think that is what is was for me — not to be “lesser than” — patriarchy?

    It’s interesting because many men cannot stand feminism or feminists and I wonder how they are taking that word? I have a male friend from high school who says that women were the competition and that he could never get a job because of them? He bemoans 30 years of that?

    I was going to write a pretty hard chapter today but I don’t know if I have it in me right now. Dunno.

    I can remember my mother saying all the time “barefoot, pregnant and under the table” — that that was how men wanted women to be?

    It was almost a lecture of hers to me, not to let that happen?

    She was reading Germaine Greer and Simone de Beauvior — not me, really. That was her gen?

    I can only give the hetero version of what happened to my part of this gen. It could have gone so many different ways as I think about it now. Anyway.
    True love has not been something our gen found, I don’t think. We mostly come from a time when the nuclear family was breaking up — mostly the parents were not there…seriously. They just weren’t. That is the 70’s?

    We are all very individual I think — coming from this gen. It’s like a solo act however people identified themselves?

    Our gen didn’t have good templates for relationships that could last, I don’t think. Our gen is also always searching? I think. Maybe that search is for happiness? Or a sense of peace? We grew up listening to Beatles songs…

    We did!

    I think that is why I am adding a cultural “mix” in…it’s like a lens I can use to see through? In a way.

    Actually, the more I think of it, our mothers influenced us I suppose.


    1. well your generation is younger than mine. It dawned on me recently that you are closer to my brother’s age than to mine, and his group were very different in terms of what they experienced. By then the nuclear family had begun to disintegrate, and mothers had left their only cultural domain, which was the home, in favor of the workforce and accellerated consumerism. Now this is not intended to be a broad statement, this is how it was in Az. In California, you were ahead of us probably, as our state is far more conservative with little or no cultural movements generated here, although Az is the home of Barry Goldwater Conservatism.

      I just didn’t understand why being a woman had to be redefined by women who weren’t feminine, who actually hated it. Seems to me that this is what bothered me the most. And intellectually, they were on the other side of the political spectrum. So what was feminine about feminism?

      I really liked the Miss Americas I worked with. They were kind, they were lovely, they were intelligent and educated and they had to live under a high standard of behavior. One of them mentored me when I was fifteen, and became my friend. It was then that I turned on feminists…because they attacked these women. Women like I met as a teenager. This was slightly before your generation. Same thing they did to Palin again.

      I saw it, and still do, as an assault on what it means to be feminine. I hate most feminist art. My disagreements with the patriarchy has no roots in the feminist movement, and though it may seem so, it does not.

      Not at all. Not one jot.

      This disagreement of mine with patriarchy is a structural issue that absorbs individuality of BOTH male and female, and I do believe that only through an understanding of what “feminine” really means can we begin to unravel this world in which love, peace and harmony has become increasingly difficult. I am so weary of the old paradigm where everyone believes they are individuals whilst being crammed into boxes.

      I love beauty, and I don’t give a damn if a man or a woman creates it. I don’t give one hot damn. I love beautiful art and beautiful music.

      That is why I l admire you.. You are different. Your voice is not so full of vitriole or hatred, it is not destructive. You understand things that many woman cannot verbalize. You have a voice that resonates with me, even tho’ our lives were and are so different and we know different things.

      My mother told me the same thing. And I am glad she did. Except as I told you, I was married to music.


      Feminists didn’t allow me to have my life. I didn’t need them. And I don’t care one hoot about their pontificating today whilst women run around more commercialized and degraded than ever before.

      As for true love?

      It exists.


  17. Well, in CA in the 70’s things like Miss America would have been deemed Establishment and so “uncool” — like going to a prom was also “uncool.”

    We were ahead in terms of movements, yes — because of San Fran & LA? And, we had hippies then, which were probably in Az later? Maybe. That was the whole 60’s “Love In” kind of thing that was before my gen but we had absorbed it by osmosis in a way by the time of the 70’s.

    This memoir is going to be really hard Song. Really hard. To write. It’s about lost things in a way — or the inability to be feminine in a way, given the times.

    ps: no, Palin should not have been savaged because she was a beauty queen — that was a way to go, as modeling was a way to go for me at that time. It just was what you did?

    There weren’t that many choices for women at that time?
    At all.

    I searched the G for “feminism 70’s” — and you can begin to see the argument?
    It was not a cohesive thing for us as a group, at all. We were thrust into the workforce in a way post-college.

    This was an article I read today — but? Only some points are true for me — as I read it?


    “A housewife is a “parasite,” [Betty] Frieden [sic] writes; such women are “less than fully human” insofar as they “have never known a commitment to an idea.”

    that rings true for me — in other words there was going to be something to one’s ‘life” an independent life you were going to get to have? By being educated and also working?

    I think I really understood my mother’s unhappiness? She probably did not really want children and felt herself “saddled” with the two of us?

    Also, both husbands didn’t last? So, she had to do it all by herself?


  18. Well of course it was not considered cool, and we did have hippies here and so on and so forth. The point is people ought be allowed to actualize however possible given the conditions that exist on this planet. From my perspective at the time, tho’ I did not “choose” to follow the pageant path, I found good women there, and that is really all that mattered to me at the time. Still, I recognized as well, the limits of that place for women, and again that is what I was looking for even then. The limits.

    As for the “something” to one’s life? well to understand that you need to understand yourself fully, and accept yourself. You as far as I can tell were not “designed” to be a pioneer woman, forging paths alone. You are highly particularized. Like an indigo bunting in a flock of sparrows. Not to disparage the sparrows, but that is how I see you, and know you, from this 1.5 year conversation. your needs are highly particularized as well.

    Your mother? I don’t know. That is something only you can surmise. The question is, what did she give you of meaning for your life today. She knew you were beautiful, artistic and vulnerable.

    maybe she was too?

    I will read the article more fully tomorrow, but i do fully disagree with this:

    “Nature simply doesn’t care about individuals when the survival of the group or the species is all that counts. But it is from that level of culture that all the symbols that some feminists now think are evidence of matriarchy were produced — the steatopygous “Venuses” and so forth.”

    Absolutely, the group will not survive ultimately without the primary cause, the first bird, and the individuals…

    anyway Bonnaire,

    I look forward to meeting you in now less than 5 days. Please reserve the hour of dinner if you will.

    Hopefully you will not be inconvenienced.


  19. Wow! 5 days! Amazing! Time flies, and I have reserved all the time on earth so no worries on that.

    It cracks me up to see all those theories on feminism — in a way?

    It was such an individual thing for each of us I expect. Dunno.

    Inconvenienced? Are you crazy?

    I look forward to this!

    I do!


  20. “Still, I recognized as well, the limits of that place for women, and again that is what I was looking for even then. The limits.”

    Limits is the key word here…
    Limits. My gen railed against that — or the notion that there were going to be limits to things — or that men were going to set those limits?

    maybe that was it.


    1. well, yes, the patriarchy if it was an equation, it would be one that defines limits regardless of what is philosophically spoken, or the platitudes we were taught. So I always look for the limits, the parameters, the boundaries and project from there the outcome(s) from optimal to less than optimal. Really no need to bang one’s head against a wall…if a wall exists, and in the world as we know it, there are usually walls, except if we free our minds and hearts, from preconceptions, actually. The mathematics of the patriarchy is mostly defining lines, and curves and all mathematicians know that geometry isn’t necessarily true.

      It is merely convenient. So one must think about the path of least resistance when dealing with the idea of limits so that our energy may be utilized more wisely in terms of our growth and development.

      enough said.


  21. Well, I am happy you have reserved some time for our visit.

    It will be Tuesday. I will be leaving here at 7 am, so I don’t know how many hours that is? I would leave earlier but my sister in law won’t wake up that early…


    My friend who is a Jungian therapist says I am “supra-sane”

    but I take nothing for granted.


    Must be one of the characteristics?


    yes, the theories? very interesting aren’t they? My brain is a bit unhinged tonight, and i just can’t delve too deeply there?

    I look forward to meeting you as well.



  22. See you Tues and drive safely!

    I’m following that story on Phillips in the news. This is the gen I am talking about — this is the age bracket?

    And, those stories are all just coming out, I suppose. Very brave of her to write her truths in that book.

    So sad.

    The fathers in this gen?



    1. Phillips? very shocking and sad for her

      Then you are about 4-5 years younger didn’t we figure that out? I think we did. Well, there actually is a difference even in that timeframe because of how rapidly “change” occurred and the nuclear family dissolved rather quickly. What used to be the exception, such as divorce became the norm. And i am not so sure that the feminist movement did not liberate men, more than women, in some ways. Maybe not in the workforce…



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