reflective birthdays…

Well this a strange year of reflection for me.  I used to love the work of Alphonse Mucha as a child so, here is a grown-up version of one of his prints I hadn’t seen yet.

Time, playing upon the strings.

It’s my birthday.

I am sort of emerging from the dense cave of sorrow that the last decade wrought in my life — by degrees.

I wrote to get my old license back — I’d have to do it all over again — but?  I could.

There are some jobs around and I researched other states too.

It’s one of those realistic birthdays this year.  Still waiting to hear back — nothing yet.

This seems like the perfect poem for today:

Where without Whom

There is not

A single soul among the trees

And I

Don’t know where I’ve gone.

(»Dónde sin quién«)

It is Octavio Paz from this link…

He is one of my favorite poets of all time.

Anyway, put on a happy face or try to, today.  It’s not though.  I miss my brother.

I miss my mother, too.  I miss childhood.  I miss my father.

I miss the jobs I had where I felt important.

I miss having a ton of fun.


(this is not totally woe is me because I just laughed but, it could be a lot better than it is).



6 thoughts on “reflective birthdays…

  1. I feel like those words of Paz a lot myself, most of the time, in fact. Communicating with you made me feel less so.

    Ah, but one grows accustomed to being a solitary soul. Like the one mockingbird that sings in the evening in the orange tree in the spring.

    Your inner child is still very alive, which says a lot about you this birthday. You have managed to keep your soul alive, which says a lot about you this birthday. You still have a heart in a world that can be so heartless, which says a lot about you this birthday.

    I miss you, and I hope you hear soon. If not? Well, something better exists.



    1. Thanks song.

      It’s been a tough week. I am not sure what happens next? Or how long it takes them or? If I will hear nothing or?

      I need this year to look different than the last 7.
      I do.


  2. well you started the year different. You went out there and showed your stuff.

    you heard yourself talk in the interview, and it was good for you to do it, regardless of the outcome.

    you had to look at all you’ve done, and dig up the good things. you overcame your nerves and talked.

    you saw him

    and the lady with the high high shoes.

    you painted and picked flowers.

    you declined a recognitional gift



    Batting at least .850

    not bad my funny pal.


    1. You make me laugh — 7 years.
      Dunno. I have had to look into the past quite deeply and remember everything that happened? Not easy. I guess it is like that lightening strike but different in a way. Or pain in a different way kind of thing.
      I only declined because it was too valuable and besides, I would never melt it! LOL.
      There you go.
      I suppose this is the part where one tries to scrape whatever is left bake together again post losses. Maybe.
      Thanks for coming by on my bd, S.


  3. well nothing is too valuable for you, because you see things

    like big tall shoes

    a gypsy


    and magic man

    all on the same day.


    you have it, so you can melt it funny pal.


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