Barn building, and land.

That is what I want now.

I’ve been looking at pictures of barn kits in the web and I would like one.  I want to move to a rural community.  A different sort of community than the one I live in.  There is not support here for me.

I’m sick of it.

I like New Mexico, and I have seen parts of Colorado and Arizona.

I am interested in off-grid because the grid no longer seems supportive.

There is only one way for me to do this too.

I’d like to be able to write and live in peace from now on.

I’d like to be able to get some of the things I need, for myself.  Things that I like.

Things my heart might like.

I have spent most of my life caring for others, and now?

I want some care.

I love the gambrel roof style and here is a picture of that…

I’d put more windows and French doors, though.  I like a lot of light.  I’d like a few chickens and some gardens and an orchard.  I’d like a studio where I could throw pottery.  I’d like to wake up feeling happy instead of sad about the news in my country every day.

I am just into something a lot more sustainable than life in California.

And, I’d also like a horse.

58 thoughts on “Barn building, and land.

    1. I really need some help. Today is just the worst, Song. I’ve been listening to the news all day while I cleaned up the kitchen. I’m afraid of what is going to happen in our country. I really am. Too much division right now and in a bad economy like this is. Scary.
      The news out of LA is on Arizona, all of it. I can’t stand to see the divisiveness and it s because of the economy. Here is where the WPA of FDR’s would work. Something has to.


  1. Bonnaire. Sorry you listened to all the bad news. So did I. ugh.

    I live here in Phoenix right where all this stuff is going on. Just drove to the grocery store and nada, zip, zilch. Stood in the grocery line with Spanish speakers. Friendly. Yup. Same as the day before and the day before and the day before.

    You’d think looking at the news that we had a huge conflagration going on.

    Not so.


    1. That’s good to know, because on the radio out here? You should hear it. It’s boycott your state? I can hardly even listen. I’m really glad it isn’t as bad as it seems. I think the WPA would be a really good model for the country right now — especially out here. I’m really glad to talk to you today on here. A really bad day.


  2. You are right about the WPA. I think they are building a high speed rail somewhere.

    Maybe they’ll build one in California.

    They’ll never do it for Arizona. that’s for sure.


  3. Yes, I know about all the stuff they are saying about Arizona. And? Yes, they are calling for a boycott of Arizona.

    So? We’re already broke.

    good luck there huh?


    1. I want you to be safe, and all the states be safe. Like they have been all my life. I don’t want to see the divisiveness. I have no answers at this point, only that the economy is driving this? I know that is it. History repeats itself. And it’s getting to feel like Germany in WWll. They are saying that on the radio, today. God. Why? We need a WPA program asap to solve the economy. I really believe that.


  4. I agree with the WPA–any work program for sure.

    Right now I am a little bit stunned by all of this. From what you are telling me they made it sound like the whole State of Arizona was falling apart.

    We only had 2 arrests yesterday from what I heard. So what’s the truth in all of this? What would be the purpose in scaring Californians by threatening Arizonans with a boycott? When I watched FOX tonight you’d have thought the whole city of Phoenix was on the verge of god knows whut.

    Our Democrats voted for Hillary.

    And finally, if the law is unconstitutional it will be stopped, and the legislature will go back to the drawing board.

    Arizona is not exactly popular with the current administration. So what? Do we care? No.


    1. It’s pretty unbelievable the way they are trying to paint your state on the radio. What worries me is that the campaign Whitman is running?
      Very weird and scary times for the west as a whole. Creepy. Scary. I wish you could hear the stations. What has happened in AZ is going to affect CA and it scares me. It really does. The whole west is like a tempest right now and it is the economy. They better get on that, but quick. I mean really quick.


  5. I wish I knew more about Meg Whitman, but I don’t. The little I have seen of her, I haven’t been impressed? I don’t know exactly what it is.


  6. You’re kidding? She has ties to the Vampire Squid? Whoa, you all better not let her near the Statehouse with a 10 foot pole. That is bad bad bad.

    The news breaking about Goldman Sachs? I hope Brown advertises that to the State.

    You all do not want the vampire squid near your Statehouse.


  7. “The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it’s everywhere. The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money. In fact, the history of the recent financial crisis, which doubles as a history of the rapid decline and fall of the suddenly swindled-dry American empire, reads like a Who’s Who of Goldman Sachs graduates.”

    You can read the rest, if you want.

    God, I pray Jerry Brown wins this thing.


    1. I knew you would know. You cannot believe her campaign. Personally I had no idea of what a vampire squid was but I keep on seeing that term.
      They appear to be everywhere, these squids. I do hope he wins because he is California. Native.


      1. It seems like there are all kinds of vampire squids afoot. I arely recognize my own country anymore. No kidding. I want to get a barn in the four corners? I do. Oh Song. From our childhoods to now. Dunno.


      2. Thanks for the research. I follow news stories on she and Brown daily. I just can’t be so worried all the time. I think I am very sensitive to the things going on? More than the average bear. It just feels like the emotions in the country are going to? Vesuvius. Kind of like Iceland — volcano.


  8. The Federal Government wants to overpower the States, just like the Vampire Squid wants to rule the world. So? Here in Az. we did what we had to do. If the Fed decides to protect our borders? Fine.

    I really am rooting for Jerry Brown. I read a lot of Conservative sites late last night, and the good news is they don’t support Whitman because she’s a Rhino. So? They may sit it out if she wins the primaries.

    So, that’s good news to share with you.


    1. I just spent a long time looking at the images of Indians who live in your State. I loved it when I was there in the four corners area. I really did. I would love to go back and see it again. Even with all this news of boycotting that would not stop me from visiting an area that I find deeply spiritual. I would love to see those reservations and the artisans again — actually just to go see the desert again. For the calm under all that sky. I really want to move out to that area. Dunno. I do. Build something with adobes that I made by hand. Look at this fab little pizza oven! I’d like to build that and build a wood fired kiln for pottery, too.


      1. Wow, they made that pizza oven look easy, i bet they had a brick cutter, or they ordered them that way. I heave a heavy sigh, actually thinking about a different life m’self, out of this city, and somewhere north, in the higher desert.

        You nailed it about the sky and the desert. There is always that sense of calm. I always felt it most distinctly when returning from the East, as though I could breathe again. All that space, and the delicate subtle beauty hidden — the small flowers blooming through the harsh landscape. A place of contrasts. Sometimes what the floor of the ocean must look like…the ocotillos with their fiery tips, the tall saguaros standing..and the prickly pears that bloom only for a day, the brightest waxy purple flowers that draw me in whenever I see them. Blooming only for a day. It just matters here so much more. Beauty, but not always overt, though the sky is painted gloriously, like nowhere else, as though at the end of the day, the colors come to fulfill the heart after a sunbleached day.

        When I came to California? I actually stood at the ocean with tears in my eyes. I was alone in Monterrey at a dock, and the pulse of the ocean, was the heartbeat of the earth, and I was so drawn to the depths of that moment, that my soul felt something intangible come forth, wash ashore, and fall down my cheeks….and the moonlight played with the motion of the waves.

        I hope you get to come someday..


      2. I loved the way you wrote this, btw. It captures the way the desert is for me. I just want to spend some time there, under that sky. Maybe the heat too?


      1. I thought that would make you laugh. A Californian as the Governor of Arizona. She was born in Hollywood the lived for years in Glendale, Az. Westside woman. Not a member of the “ruling elite”

        as she said yesterday, “this isn’t my first rodeo”



  9. “The bones seem to cut sharply to the center of something that is keenly alive on the desert even tho’ it is vast and empty and untouchable… and knows no kindness with all its beauty. (Georgia O’Keeffe)


  10. “I simply paint what I see,” O’Keefe is quoted as saying, from O’Keefe’s own essays published in Georgia O’Keefe in 1987.

    But, narrated Williams, her search for the ideal color, light, stones, parched bones that contained more life in them than living animals, transformed her forays into desert country into a communion with the perfection around her. Once, in a canyon bottom, she was so enthralled by the sight that she laid her head back Coyote-fashion and howled at the sky, terrifying her companions nearby who feared she was injured. “I can’t help it – it’s all so beautiful,” was her response.”



    1. Yes — sometimes that beauty is a tiny cactus flower? I think she saw the colors — they are so saturated out there. Because it is so stark in some ways, and great sweeping empty vistas that the light plays over. The colors must have been so intense in her paintings out there because she saw that much color.


    1. Yes. A few years ago i met a woman who had one up for sale. In New Mex. They were building those out there ages ago? They are a bit too organic for my tastes but the concept is pretty incredible. Some of them are entirely self-sufficient? Seriously. They are passive solar and built into hillsides — some have sod I think on the roofs for cooling? They remind me of those fab Spanish Cave houses — but not as artful? Many are handmade. By pioneering owners. I like straw bale and adobe. Those adobes in New Mex — gorgeous.


  11. I hadn’t heard of them until today. Organic is a nice way to put it. Some of them are very? Dunno. But I saw one where there were flowers and plants in the kitchen, and a lovely fireplace. Totally off grid…But what is off grid? Certainly not Phoenix, or SB huh? I felt as though I would spend at least two years being stunned if I lived there. I just stared at the pictures. yup. Could I do it? That is what I asked myself.



    1. Actually, they are pretty incredible? For the way that they function as “ships” in terms of totally contained? Sometimes they use things like old tires for the walls?

      There is one called The Phoenix! for you! Those plants have to do with the atmosphere inside and cooling and so forth? Off grid means things like solar for power or rain catch for water? Basically to me it is a lot of ideas that our forefathers did. My house from the 30’s has an old cistern system? it doesn’t work, but, that idea is one that could be recycled. Here is a straw bale one? Watched the vid yesterday. Look how pretty? Reminds me of you? A bit.


  12. I don’t have any idea of what is my preference, I have lived in so many places…the bale house reminds me of the Mission movement–lovely–in adobes, you feel close to the earth. It’s more to me about my state of mind, than the house, actually. At least I am thinking about a preference? You have more clarity and knowledge in this area, and you have thought about it.

    The earthship follows a certain logic in terms of being truly off grid. But I think I like being near water? A river, a stream? an ocean? just water. That comes from living in the desert.


    1. Yeah, I like water too. I always need that whether a creek or the ocean. We have that here? Both. Anyway, Californians had a huge drought some time ago. We had to use grey water in the 80’s — that is when a lot of us learned about other ways. If you think about it though? On the Indian reservations they live like this. Very close to the land, seasons and cycles. I remember being stunned seeing the Navajo and their sheep and also the Acoma Pueblo? and the cave structures of the Anasazi. Mesa Verde? Up there. I think it would be great to build a straw bale structure — very fun? Just a tiny one. There are all these articles on the “tiny house” movement of late. Have you ever seen those? OMG. So cute, so contained, so immediate!


  13. My internet is acting funny, but I was able to look. I have never seen these little houses either? They are very cute. I really think the idea of space has to do as much internally as externally. But I don’t think I want to live alone in the middle of nowhere? I could do it. But would I want to.

    On the otherhand, Phoenix is too big…but north of here, maybe better. I sang one summer in Sedona, and loved it there…the weather was much nicer, and of course there was water. If the world falls apart like some say it will, I guess I would live as far away as I could from civilization, and that would be a necessity. Perhaps then, being choiceless, I would be glad I moved. So a self contained environment would be wise–

    that was the appeal of the spaceship earth-house, or whatever they call it, although, I am not fond of the idea of tires for walls?


  14. Nevertheless, I am feeling inside, a sense of adventure just talking about it with you, and that is good, because it opens up the world.

    it does….I’ve got the self defense aspect of personal safety down, but hadn’t thought much about the domain requirements at this time.


    1. Well, as I expected there are other states jumping on the bandwagon after what AZ just did. Looks like Colorado and Texas. Very scary times for all concerned. The bad economy is driving this and where will it lead? In our lifetimes, Song. We have never seen anything like this. Ever. It makes me sad, and scared. Scared for the American psyche. Hope you are safe. Hope we all will be. I just read a news piece off Fox where Palin called your gov the CEO of AZ. Oh great. Is Whitman going to be CA’s CEO? You ought to see the target-marketing and the ads. CA’s interior is very Republican in thought. The whole west appears to be moving in a direction today. At least on the news.

      God. It’s just unreal watching this. It is. Spent all day, mostly watching the news stories flash by. Someplace in the world is at peace. Maybe it’s in Hawaii.


      1. So today I go to the store, and it’s the same as the day before and the day before. No bad vibes, no scary people…It seems that the media is trying to build this to a frenzy, and I can’t help but feel that they are making a big mistake fooling around with Arizona. That’s the way I feel because I am listening to the news now..

        Palin? I saw her last night. I can’t wrap my brain around what she says sometimes.

        Greta has our Governor on? I haven’t paid much attention to her, So I am going to watch her now, and then I’ll be back.


  15. I saw our Governor tonight, and I hadn’t really paid much attention to her until the other day. Seems like she is trying to secure our borders from the criminal elements. I think too, our social services, jails, and schools are suffering. Actually I know about the State budget for Schools, and the Feds cut millions from where I worked so?

    We’re broke.

    I think that’s what she is saying. We can’t take any more people, and we refuse to be the major pathway for drug cartels and weapons and human smugglers.


    1. It looks like Utah, Colorado and Texas — might follow AZ on the news off the G. That’s a huge chunk of the West. What worries me is the social unrest and the bad economy — together? These add up. I was looking at vids of Az and saw a protest one. Wondering how this will play out here? I really am. Ready to leave for a small island anywhere. At this point.


  16. According to Drudge–There are going to be huge demonstrations. Much of the anger will be directed at Arizona. We will be pummelled here. Some are saying they want to set fire to Phoenix. So? I guess you won’t be visiting anytime soon huh? I was so looking forward to seeing you again.

    But not now. I am so glad I know you Bonnaire… are such a good friend. Really.

    As for me? I live here. I’m not going anywhere for now.

    I feel a strange resignation inside. I know how to defend myself but I don’t want to ever have to.


    1. Song, it is going to be the whole of the west. This is the biggest mess we have ever seen and it is because of this government. The bad economy is driving this and this is like hell on earth. I mean that. I’m glad I know you too. You be careful, okay? I mean that. Think straw bale, sustainable. God, it’s just unreal. It really is.


  17. yes, I would rather think about straw bale, and sustainable. And today I looked at pictures of Arizona, and some of the beautiful places here. Did I tell you that my lovebirds came back, and now a flock is visiting everyday? They yell at me from the palm trees. My hummingbirds are around too… Oh, and two mockingbirds come when I call them now? Yup. They come on my patio and eat. hahahahaha! i taught them how after a cat almost got the young one. So I put up a ladder she can land on before she comes under the roof to eat.

    It didn’t take long to teach the mockingbirds because they are observant and very smart.


  18. I made a great posole today, too. Very quick, not the long version. With lots of green chili, which I love…

    I thought of you and your recipes.


    1. There’s this great little restaurant here that serves posole on Sundays. I used to go for that sometimes in Winter. I can’t even eat. I can’t. So upset by stress and the news. It makes me sick. I just want to move.


  19. but it is the story of the Buddha, the Tiger, and the Strawberry…

    Yet now… I feel bad because I made posole.

    And you aren’t eating.


    1. Don’t feel bad for me. Too much stress. Too many news articles. My years in that biz, when stories broke. Now we have no real news. Lalaland. You have no idea what I think is going to happen. This is so bad I can’t even believe it. That is the therapist me talking. I mean that. It won’t just be AZ. And the consequences of this? Fascismo. State by state. It’s the economy? Just like what happened in Europe once upon a time. Ugh.
      I just finished reading this.

      The economy will drive scapegoating, just like it did in Europe once upon a time. Here is more:


  20. No you are right, we have no real news, and for a long time real news has been diminishing. The strong movement toward nationalism, the poor economy, a Congress that is channeling the Bolsheviks from time to time, and a President who has done nothing on the Imperial Presidential Powers front certainly has accellerrated this. There are similarities to Germany 1930 and there are differences. There are similarities to the Byzantine Empire too not that people care to know.

    The root of this problem is very deep, and unless we understand the root, we cannot understand why the weed keeps coming back. There are other possibilities of how we might turn out.

    The form it takes could look like Japan, since the 80’s, or Argentina, or Iceland, most probably not Greece. It is rather simplistic of Chomsky to make such comparisons, because there are other variables at work, that do not compare at all nor do they compare to the dynamics of the Great Depression, where, in fact the banks weren’t bailed out.

    Bush and Obama and Congress bailed the banks, that is why you aren’t seeing a WPA. That is what happened. Others say that Roosevelt made matters worse by increasing debt, and then we know the rest of the story. WWII, Korea, VietNam, an American Empire in a near total constant state of War, since then. Again, I don’t want to go into those details either, but Eisenhauer saw the problems ahead with the military industrial complex, and he was right. It is a labyrinth.

    Now today?

    The vampire squids of the world got their money from Congress and way back when they got tired of taking businesses down and breaking up companies and outsourcing jobs like they did in the eighties and nineties–now they are taking whole countries down. What we need is to vote out all of Congress. All of them. So the stranglehold of lobbying money is nil. We need to bring back Glass Steagal. Remember when i wrote that way back when? Remember when I wrote about Dubai? Dubai, so soon we forget how quickly they were built and how fast they fell apart.

    Dubai–the slavery moneylaundering tax shelter and former playground of Halliburton,Cheney, Bill Clinton,and Hollywood. Iceland. Iceland said to the vampire squids. Screw You. They have outlawed prostitution and the exploitation of women since. They are fighting, and you hardly hear a peep about it. But they are. We can learn from them.

    Now Greece is on the brink. Today Spain. Spain has a 20 percent unemployment rate, and a huge number of the unemployed is over 50 percent of the young. Then Ireland, Italy, then England….

    You need to pay attention to Europe. Europe is ahead of us here.

    Some think it is planned. Some do not. I have not made up my mind. But as the Eurocontinent has it’s problems, the dollar is picking up steam, but for how long? It is an unknown, that’s why precious metals are up, and oil is holding, because no one knows for sure.
    No one. I read the financial blogs everyday, and I can tell you that some see a bleak future while CNBC says we are coming out of it. There are distinct wavelengths that are canceling each other out.
    A few days ago? The IMF sent billions of our tax dollars to bail out Greece. Billions. The American Middle class isn’t dying, it is being sucked dry by vampire squids.

    Isn’t Arizona a nice little diversion? The Democrats know why the illegal alien issue is important. Tony Blair let in a large number of immigrants in to build the taxpayer base, to sustain the UK and Bill Clinton said as much so today. The socialist programs cannot survive any better than the capitalist ones without fresh new poor people, to work and pay taxes. A permanent underclass sustains both hierarchies. Not either-or.

    And so, all that human emotion that we are spending here, is like using a fly swatter on a Humvee. It serves the Powers that be to either create chaos, or to have people watching the latest celebrity Paris Hilton or Anna Nicole Smith story or American Idol, while our taxpayer dollars go across the sea to bail out Greece. then what? Spain? Ireland? England? California? New York?

    Now, we still have time to right the ship. Or at best, we must let our minds prevail. I don’t know how much time. Some say until 2011, some say later. I know it’s not too late.

    Speaking of late though? It is 3 am and I need some sleep.

    love to you.


    1. I hope that essay you wrote gets seen. Never seen times like these. Never realized a thing like a vampire squid existed. I never showed you the level of homeless people here when you were out visiting. We are at the end of a civilization. I believe that. We are at the end of humanity in a way? I didn’t sleep well at all. Hope you did. I wish I could tear myself from the news? On TV this am they should be reporting on this, but no.


  21. From ZeroHedge this Morning:

    “First we have governments bailing out banks (and auto companies and mortgage providers), homeowner debtors, and now we have governments bailing out governments. When does someone finally say — enough is enough!
    Look, Greece is not going to “fail”. They are going to default. There will be a debt restructuring. And there will be some recovery. Bondholders will take a haircut — why shouldn’t they? Why should Angela Merkel care if German banks own Greek bonds? Greece has been in default in its recent 200-year history almost half the time. So has most of Latin America come to think of it. What about Russia?
    Enough – enough of having the entire world paying for the stupidity, mistakes, and greed of the banking elite. Enough of taxpayers footing every bill. Enough of US taxpayers being responsible for Greek, Portugues, Spanish, Italian, Latvian, Ukrainian “rescues” just so those banks who are loaded to the gills with their sovereign debt can receive another year of record profits. Enough of the US-backed IMF hiking their rescue facilities first to $500 billion, and next to trillions… quadrillions. Enough of destroying the purchasing power of the dollar and forcing people to increasingly consider a barter economy (based on gold or otherwise) as the only survivable option of the reckless monetary and fiscal policies of greedy and corrupt politicians. Enough.



    1. I didn’t understand the news links…anyway. Very tired. So sad about what is going on in the news. I just am. It makes one wonder who has really orchestrated this great collapse and why. Bankers.


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