THE LAST HOLLYWOOD VIKING (scene 2)

The Saint Frances of Hollywood

Actually, I am writing this for a bunch of Hollywood heroes, heroines and STARS! (as I go!)  In the hopes that I can sell this screenplay and raise a bunch of money to help solve real social problems… I don’t have the proper software but eff it.  Deal with that later, because the story is pouring out.

THE LAST HOLLYWOOD VIKING by Valentine Bonnaire copyright 2010 — all rights reserved.

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EXT.  DUSK — HOLLYWOOD HILLS

The lights begin to twinkle like a carpet of stars below.  Our HERO is naked astride an Andalusian stallion before the genie who  has just appraised his naked form.

HERO

I was just trying to get laid.

ST. FRANCIS

Grins widely and places a finger to her lips, raised eyebrows, laughingly…

I’m not sure you’re going about it the right way.

HERO

Fuckin’ fairies.

ST. FRANCIS

Where did you come from, anyway?

HERO

A party on Mount Olympus.  The whole fuckin’ place was purple, man.  Purple.  You should have seen them flitting around.

ST. FRANCIS

I see you kept your sword.

HERO

I’m just trying to keep my sanity at this point.

ST. FRANCIS

shaking her head slowly and grinning

You’re gonna need some clothes.  Let me help you with that.

INT — LATE AFTERNOON MT OLYMPUS — PARTY

Stewie and Jasper — the two most flaming gay guys in Hollywood power circles have thrown a huge fete around a purple only theme.  They live in a moderne house with giant balconies they’ve added — and Greek colums.  Anybody who is anybody in Hollywood practically dies for an invite to one of their soirees.  Our HERO had crashed it, accidentally.  Unforch he was hetero.  Too bad for him.  The interiors are like this!

(my fave actors for this are Robin Williams and Steve Martin — two of the funniest comedians ever…)

Stewie is utter vibrance, swish and limp wrist.  He’s known for his flamboyant scarves that he tosses on — an homage to Isidora Duncan in a way.  Jasper is quieter in an entirely amused way, but he does have an eye for beefcake to Stewie’s dismay.  In fact, sometimes he has been know to cruise Selma and other parts of the city that lie below.

All around the perimeter of the house are Jasper’s Junipers — giant trimmed topiaries that look like Priapus descended.  Like this…

It will be the ghost of Paul Lynde looking down on this scene from on high… (how ironic it was shot up here! LOL!) synchronicity! xxoo! That is the Courthouse…

Stewie and Jasper have chosen a 60’s modsville surf music theme for the party so it sounds like this…

JASPER

eyes our HERO as he enters, lustily

Stewie get Jaspie a drink, baby.  I’m going all dry.

STEWIE

tosses head back and swishes off to bar

Suit yourself.

HERO

Gazes around the room in pure mystification at the level of purple. it’s everywhere.  And many are wearing actual wings as they flit about the room giggling with drinks and canapes.  Somebody has turned on a strobe light.

GHOST OF LYNDE watches from sky, bemused at Jasper as he makes his way to our HERO

JASPER

Well look what the wind blew in.

EXT — DUSK — HOLLYWOOD SIGN

ST. FRANCIS

Ruffles through her large collections of clothes kept in black plastic bags.

Whatdya think?

She starts holding up outfits for our HERO, one by one.  Eventually they settle on a modern day Viking look for him.  It goes with the sword.  They seem to have come from  Western Costume — like old movie stuff dating from the 30’s — Hunchback of ND era…

xxoo!

as our hero is getting dressed we hear this song playing…..!

This film is dedicated to Hollywood itself, and all the greatest actors, ever.  I hope you don’t mind if I thought of you for these parts.  You guys are my HEROES!