For the character STEWIE who lives on MT. OLYMPUS with his longtime companion, JASPER.

STEWIE is the most flamboyant, brightest, best-costumed decorator in Hollywood.  His parties are legendary.  Certain women in and around Hollywood beg for him to restyle their mansions.  His heart is made of gold.  He gets testy at times.

For the part of JASPER, like STEWIE adored by Hollywoodians everywhere– and known for his topiaries with “balls” and his penchant for the dryest wit in town…(plus musicality)…


They have lived together forever up on MT. Olympus.  Sometimes JASPER has been unfaithful to STEWIE.  STEWIE is like this marvelous, very childlike young soul.  He has been madly in love with JASPER for years, and his greatest wish is to marry JASPER and raise a child, but he has never said so.  We know this because he has been seen at Tiffany’s looking at rings on the sly, longingly, and by the way he treats the children of the women whose mansions he decorates.  They adore him, running up to him and hugging his legs and he always has presents for them — just little things — because he was thinking of them.  If STEWIE had his way, the house wouldn’t be a Neutra, but he wants to please JASPER.  There probably wouldn’t be so much minimalism except JASPER is a purist.  He only likes a controlled environment.  In fact, this is necessary for him because of his secret much wilder roving side that he has a hard time showing STEWIE.  The two of them love each other very much.  They forgive each other their trespasses…

JASPER”S famous clipped 60’s topiaries and little bonsai trees intermingle with STEWIE’S Greek Columns.  JASPER collects art books and he is a writer.  He is brilliant intellectually, very refined taste.  An aesthete.  He loves Etruscan vases — those wicked ones, and so there are a few of those spotlit in this very minimalist house.

What STEWIE does is decorate wildly when they are having their famous parties.  He redoes the whole house over in color.  All the different colors along the color wheel.  He plans the drinks and canapes along those lines as well.  The morning of the party STEWIE and JASPER sit by the pool in huge fluffy white bathrobes — with giant monogramed initials — theirs, at chest level.


STEWIE and JASPER are sipping Mimosas and reading the paper.  The gardeners are busy clipping the junipers.  We see the base of these and there are “balls” at the base.  They are gigantic phallic symbols.  Jasper is keeping a watchful eye on the gardeners.  These topiaries are one of his prized posessions.  JASPER is in a mood, and so this is playing… The Midler version.


I want torches out here tonight.


watching gardeners

I said NO.


sighs heavily, and shakes his head back and forth in frustration

I want it to be perfect Jasper.


It will be.


Looks across the terrace to one of his favorite Greek columns and out into the clear blue sky.  He doesn’t notice the beautiful butterfly that has landed on his hand.  It flutters its wings lazily in the fresh morning air.  The sky is a beautiful vibrant blue — the terrace is almost blindingly white against the blue..


THE LAST HOLLYWOOD VIKING — by Valentine Bonnaire — copyright 2010 — all rights reserved

*authors note — I am making interventions in this screenplay.  In my facebook you will see I am attached as a friend to Ginette Paris.  She was one of my teachers at Pacifica Graduate Institute.  My master’s thesis was on the film “The Piano.”  Class of ’98.

4 thoughts on “THE LAST HOLLYWOOD VIKING (scene 3)

  1. hi Bonnaire–still having troubles with my computer. bigtime… but? i am online for the moment. this is quite a screenplay, and funny, and poignant…

    these are great actors, and I love that song. if I have to charge up my iphone to read your next installment, i will but will log on, rr with another email address.

    that song? funny, never heard it, actually. if i had, I would have sung it…


    1. a lot of things?

      but in this case?

      This is a piece about the HERO’s Journey? And the horse is what he is going to be riding. This screenplay is set in present day Hollywood. So, the horse represnts mythic Hollywood in a sense as well.


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