Marriage can be like a dream when it starts. As it ends? All you feel is the cold.
I can’t turn the heat on. it’s going to be thanksgiving and then Christmas and I can’t even have a fire. The last days in the house spent as loveless as the years I spent here. Those truths now apparent on the pages of the novel.
needs 1667 for today, again — hopefully by tonight will be caught up in toto.
this year was much easier to write 1667 per day — than in 2009 — but that is because the subject is at hand, or was at hand during this month.
I will remember these years as the years of ice. The hoar frost years, the years my breath came out in little puffs of steam, barely breathing.
I will remember the years when there wasn’t any love, when I picked a person who didn’t know how to love, when there was nothing but sadness.
back later, hopefully able to write some warmth into things…
I made some wordles (word clouds) of the novel and you can see those here. It’s really interesting to see the words as they form the clouds, to see which words might be overused. The word “like” has gotten smaller and the word “love” has prominence. Good thing!
Adrienne who is trying to stay warm or remember what warmth felt like.
* * *
Back. Cold, has made some soup not hungry but going to try. Maybe make some baked apples which I like in Fall. Dunno, just cold and the novel is in a cold stretch so gos for next 1667 words, maybe watch a few films tonight from my library of them. I don’t have TV anymore. Which is a drag. But I don’t. So trying to write the 1667 and thinking about warmer places to el sud.
I love the house. I wish I had a nice fire going. I love the fireplace, the rooms. I picked it out. It was my rose covered cottage once upon a time. Even now there are some blooms on the Cecile Bruners and yesterday a pure white one. The red is about to bloom again. I’m pretty angry about the furnace. maybe I can crawl under the house and figure out how to turn it on myself. It must be the pilot light, or something. freezing — rain and no heat to turn on. god it’s cold. hell.