Cloudfields and Tides, images of mine…

I can’t take the stress.

I can’t.

Since August I have thought there is a way to end the stress by ending myself but, there is life someplace out there — maybe that can be happier.  God, just one day at a time right now.  Yesterday this was the sunset on New Year’s Day.

I am the simplest person.

If only I had not let my husband control everything.

I did, because I was young and dumb.

Why did I hand over the reins to 27 years of my life to someone who never really loved me first?

I don’t know.

Sitting here today, I know there are two ways out.

One is ending myself, the other ending the marriage.

In the meantime, I am trying not to have a heart attack over what he has done.

It’s getting dark and cold.

I’m going to wash the dishes and continue on the house.

I gave him 27 years of my life and I loved him.

I really did.

4 thoughts on “Cloudfields and Tides, images of mine…

  1. …Proving once again that it is very possible to love someone and not like him very much. You gave him 27 years, but the truth is the rest of your life is YOURs now. Use it well.

    Like

      1. Yes I show up at the darndest times, don’t I now?

        Forget the house. Forget the dishes. Go outside. Look at the flowers. You are lucky to have them at this time of the year. Pick one. For yourself. Take a walk. Buy something you want. For yourself. If it’s warm there in Cali, have an ice cream. Pistachio if you can find it.

        Like

      2. Uppity! I LOVE YOU SINCE I FIRST READ YOU! thank you for being such a great writer, great knower, wit, and just plain fab. Wishes you the very best in the New Year. This might be a lucky year for me, I hope so. I will follow your advice today & pistachio is right on target! hugs you.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s