Natalie Wood

I was looking at films tonight, well trailers…

Natalie Wood in West Side Story.

This was the first impression I had in childhood of what being a woman in love was going to be.

There is this scene where she drapes tulle around herself, and sings “I Feel Pretty.”

We lived in Pasadena, and I remember the closet in the hall of my best friend’s house.  We would put on the soundtrack, and in that closet was a pink tulle ballet dress.  I was in love with it, and with her in that film, and this is what being a girl was going to be.  So, it’s this love story and those things make an impression.

I would say, “I want to be the girl.”

Then I got to wear that dress.

And dance, spinning around and around, at five years old.

Then I think of the relationships going forward, and my mother.

The next one?

I will be the Natalie of age five again.  The feminine I was actually meant to be.

Now that my mother is gone, I can be everything she tried to squelch.

Some men like feminine women.  This is similar to that dress, so long ago.

I had a music box, too.  That had a tiny ballerina spinning.

I put that image into a short story someplace.

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