“A Little Book of Holiday Comfort” ~ Chapter eight ~ Parsifal #NaNoWriMo2015 #amwriting



(tucks in to remember all the things said)

*notes on love scenes – Langley/Benjamin — they are last and after he has built this up in self.  Scenes leading up to this.  Women want Benjamin because of the way he looks and does THIS IN VID BELOW — this is also in English Patient during the dancing part, and part at bonfire — intensity of the male – “as male” — these are best MALE lovers — very little touches this scene below though.  Exquisite in the reality of what it is.  So tucking this in to save it.  Characters I am writing — only LANGLEY will be overwhelmed by the “fire” in this way with BENJAMIN.  The others (FEMALES) are very different.  The approaches different.  The love scenes are crucial and will be as hard emotionally as The Road was?  But just different because level of intimacy — so if there is fear it is going to be around that.  But see in this below much more “fire” than any other “sex” scene.  It’s going to be gorgeous because “masks” will come off for Langley/Benjamin.  The other scenes with women are “types” of women, (not all same) so “sex scenes” are not all same accounting for how and who BENJAMIN is with them.  He is VERY SENSITIVE and INTUITIVE of EACH woman.

Langley/Benjamin here:

To give you an idea of the intimacy Benjamin and Langley will be having together I have a short story in my book Gardenias — two actually, but the one I am thinking of is called “Casa Azul” and it’s over in CS at this link.  It will give you the “atmosphere” the two of them will have together.  This very easy intimacy together.  The character of Valdez is NOT BENJAMIN.  Am showing you this for the “intimacy” but it takes these two ages to work up into that.  As you read think about the dinner, the glow and the bath. ❤

On Tina.  Tina is very buxom and not terribly intelligent.  Sensate type.  Emotionally is “dumb” in sense of letting Jason control everything so kind of Stepford doll that he has “remade” in the image he feels is right by injections/extractions/giant boobs/implants and so forth so almost a caricature.  Grown up doll.  So Benjamin will be saving Cassie from that fate. (So huge.) ❤

Writing to:


Sound after Benjamin has seen Natalie at the restaurant in Wanchese.  This started as a tiny spark – just the tiniest spark when he had looked at her.  I have described her as a reserved blond Deneuve type, early 50’s coiffed.  She has picked up his cashmere muffler that he has forgotten.  Benjamin will metamorph through looks and costumes in this, many many times.  He is an archetypal figure — a “Solar” Hermes, winged at the same time very handsome.  Not aware of this though.   He feels coated in the gray ash that took Beth in the towers –and so he feels “grey.”  The women looking at him DO NOT see this at all.  He has a face of an angel.  They are only looking at him on the outside.  It is his inner light — the light of the sun!  This is what they reveal to him.  So far the five women: Maybelle, Tina, Natalie and Langley.  The “daughter” he will mentor is Cassie – who has an absentee father.  He will be a strong and good father “substitute” – teaching her to fish, having fun, letting her have her first cat – via him.  His cottage is the polar opposite of the Mermaid Castle next door.  For all of the rooms in this castle there is very little life.  Only Cassie and her mother Tina are there.   By contrast the old fashioned little house Benjamin is in?  Has all the glow of an old fashioned wooden ship inside.  It feels like a ship, lit with the golden glow of his conch candles and all the mariners lamps.  In this area of Wanchese/Manteo there are many pirate/boat things.  He will be doing all of that too.  So this inner sun in Benjamin? “poetry” “music” “painter” “photographer” and so forth.  These are all things he is doing.  These are introduced gradually, revealed gradually and he will share all of this with Cassie.  (Teaching her, men are safe, men are good, men are friends) ❤

note* — link to Cassie and her own father Jason up in Boston. It is through Benjamin that Jason will learn how much his daughter needs him. ❤ *healing depth psych (smile) xxoo! (oh this is going to be fab!)

So the “sound” of the spark he has felt in Wanchese after seeing Natalie is a strike of flint making a little spark inside.  This is shown as maybe a smile or?  He is listening to Green Onions in his convertible sports car.  I think I had him in a Mercedes but top is ALWAYS down we see him smiling into the winds at the seagulls crossing his path.  At first he looks “ashen” but his eyes…. this sad blue.  It is not what the others see?  The others see “handsome” but he feels like this picture.

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 11.17.45 AM

This is part of who he will become in the costumes and atmosphere as he changes:

See the message about childhood — this is very important.  Because of how Cassie’s mother and father are?  She feels that way too.

*healing depth psych note (smiles) because BENJAMIN felt that way as a child he understands Cassie’s loneliness.  Through Benjamin and the adventures (fishing) (boats) she will meet “other kids” for first time. ❤  Cassie’s mother TINA is an antiseptic 40 year old.  There can be no germs in the Mermaid Castle, so Cassie can’t have a cat.  Over at Benjamin’s?  All is play and life and music and poetry and art and all is permitted.  GROWN MAN substitute father figure for Cassie.  ❤

Here is that sound and the images for that feeling of the spark he felt seeing Natalie that carries out to the car scene where he is driving:

A Little Book of Holiday Comfort/ “The Seahearts” (new title)

by VB-Demoiselle (writing as in nanowrimo)

contact: Adrienne D. Wilson in Facebook

Copyright 2015 all rights reserved

Chapter eight


Oh God, I haven’t heard that song in years, Benjamin thought.  Green Onions had been playing softly in the background as he’d seen Natalie in the giftshop.  He tucked the little Christmas ornament in his pocket.   Someone had hand painted it.  The lighthouse at Bodie with its black and white stripes.  He’d heard of it.  He was going to drive over water for days, drive himself clean again into the salt spray with the wind at his face and the gulls hovering everywhere he turned.  They moved along the docks as he made his way to his car.  Hundreds waited for anything the fishing boats tossed their way.  The last strains of the song were playing on the car radio as he started driving north again back to the cottage.  Clouds were blowing over and it was sprinkling a little, but not enough to have to put the top up.  A beautiful song came on the radio as he drove the miles and miles of empty coast back home.

Halfway home he reached to wrap his muffler around his neck tighter against the wind.  Oh, I left it there, he thought.  No problems, I’m going back one of these days pretty soon. 

The grey of the cashmere had been a symbol of status in New York. It would mean nothing here against this coast.  Here the men he had seen were a different species.  Natural, he thought.  Like my father was.

I won’t be needing you much longer either, he thought looking down at the very polished set of pointed toe shoes.  Nowhere to wear you out here.

He floated.  It seemed he was between water and sky over the bridges.  It was almost like not even driving at all.  He seemed to be between the two things, as he coughed the deep ash up from his lungs.  Every breath of air coming in, released Beth and all his memories slowly up and onto the winds themselves.  Light rain kissed his face in jeweled drops.  He smiled.  He felt his face smiling into the freedom of the wind for the first time since he could remember.  He let himself relax and steered with only one hand on the wheel.  He was comfortable.  More comfortable than he had been in years.

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