So, it was good to cross that threshold today. Took my dog for a long walk on the beach and watched the sun set golden into the sea. Thinking about everything that is going on in the fringes of my life. How much hurt right now. Almost impossible. Thinking about things that might be beautiful contrasted with things that are very ugly about the past.
Anyway, very happy that I reached the crux of the novel yesterday and today which again is a theme of love as redemption like in 2009’s Heart of Clouds. Started off listening and writing to the Goo Goo Dolls earlier, but tonight this old REM song came to mind. I couldn’t remember the name of it but I used to have this a long time ago and I wanted to hear it again. It’s a bit on the dark side. A little. The themes in the novel are about loss, death and love so it is a little on the Plutonian side I guess. I need 1667 tonight to make up for lost time so has to! Listening to this, for awhile anyway, but earlier it was all Classical after the Goo Goos.
Right now, this:
Anyway shows you some from earlier. Not sure where it is going tonight. I do have a very tired out dog though. He snores! The cutest thing, he really is — all sandy from the walk today, chasing his ball, loping down the beach, so happy! He’s fab.
From earlier and a picture of him!
What I knew is that we would say everything to each other.
No one would ever know what were going to say. They were going to read about it all later. I knew this because this is how it started in a cold October as the light shut down and everything got cold one year.
Love saves Romantics. It’s the only thing that does. They search and search for it because not having it crushes their natures.
The marathon of love itself. A brass ring on a carousel at some circus and the two of you grab for it laughing at the same time. A lucky ride, the horses bobbing up and down, the music twirling. You look across a room and something becomes tangible. You try and remember the last time this happened and it was far too long ago. There is death that you are trying to escape, after having seen it. You are willing to grab that ring, you are pulling it down, you are mounting the horse that carries you spinning around and around again. Something is surging, among the mounts.
I decided that looking back wouldn’t work anymore.
I decided I was going to look forward and that life itself would be an endless carousel filled with new brass rings.
I decided there were other roadsters.
There were roadsters and roads and there was a hand on my thigh as we spun around the curves laughing. All of a sudden the canyons were opening up into light, the clouds moving over the two of us. We laughed at the potential rain knowing it would only drive us closer.
Suddenly I wanted to listen to arias. I wanted to waltz.
There were painted horses and waltzes. There was a world of myriad delight.
back later maybe! Glad to be at 30,000 plus in this POV omg. Really diff as a POV. Truly.
VALENTINE BONNAIRE - WRITER 